Basically you are stating at highway speeds it would be running with the vanes closed which wouldn't be good at all.
Correct.
Also, when engine speed or load changes (such as when the transmission shifts up a gear) the vanes will not be able to close to make up for the lower exhaust volume/velocity. That will leave you with a loss of boost and poor throttle response.
Also #2, check valves by nature do not bleed down so you will need an orifice to release pressure from the wastegate actuator. Its lose-lose. Either the orifice is too small and transient response is crap or its too big and the turbo chokes exhaust flow at low loads.
I wonder if I found a w g actuator that cracks around 5 psi
No, it will not have enough spring power to close the vanes against the exhaust pressure.
Anything involving using a wastegate actuator will not work. You'll end up either choking the exhaust at low loads or you will only control how fast the turbo spools up (not boost pressure). The VW groups made the second one popular despite how poorly it works.
The only two ways to control a VGT correctly are to limit boost pressure based on engine load (throttle position) or electronically.
You must use an actively controllable actuator. Vacuum, air pressure, hydraulic or electric.
If you want to use a simple wastegate actuator you must set the vanes significantly open, but at that point you end up with an overcomplicated version of a traditional wastegated turbo.