I have been in sticky situations where I felt like there is something or someone with me or helping me get through. Can't explain just felt it.
I have felt this so I beleive.
Would be safe to say that you have never attempted to "find God"
I tried everything in my POWER to reconcile the reality of the world I live in with the stories written in the bible. After years of feeling bad all the time for knowing many of them are simply untrue and not being able to figure out why I couldn't figure out why, I just let it go, and realized that me feeling bad about it is never going to make the story of Adam and Eve true, nor plausible even. And it's never going to make the birds, trees, water or anything else have just popped into existence from thin air when first of all, that's ridiculous, and second of all, we understand how things evolve over time, and we have more evidence to support that understanding than we do for something as widely excepted as the theory of
gravity... On a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being an educated guess and 10 being absolute truth the theory of evolution ranks a 9.
I tried and tried to figure out how these things work together, but the truth is, some of the fundamental things in the bible are simply wrong. I'm sorry about it, I wish I could change it, but then that in itself is the whole problem in a nut shell. Nobody can change it. If you can't amend something in light of new evidence, then it will only be correct as long as nothing ever changes, and current understanding never expands. Assuming either of those two things will never happen is incredibly naive, and arrogant. The same qualities which allow people to read a book of stories and have the nerve to tell someone else they're going to spend eternity burning in torturous hell because they don't subscribe to the same book club, because they're too naive to see that they have been duped, and too arrogant to even entertain the idea that with millions and millions of people fully believing
them to be the ones in error that all those people might not be the dumbest people on the planet simply in need of accepting
their way of life before they can also "believe" and be as good a person as them.....
Religious people can see thousands of competing religions all sharing the concepts that
their God(s) are the
true God(s) and that anyone not following their prescription for being a good person will suffer and never reach heaven, or paradise, karma, oneness..... call it whatever you want. You throw darts at a wall covered in words describing bliss and you'll likely land on a word describing some religion's notion of heaven. But the thing is religious people can see
all these other people practicing all these opposing religions and yet they can't even FATHOM the idea that they might be practicing the wrong one.
It's like they think they're the only ones that say you'll burn in hell if you don't believe in what we believe in. It's like they have some kind of mental block, and can't understand that the other religions say the same about
them.
:doh:
Another thing that should trouble these people is the manner in which they came to follow the religion they follow in the first place. It's almost always purely a geographical situation. If they had been born in Afghanistan they'd be Islamic.... They think the fact that they were born in the US and then became Christian is a miracle??? The statistical chance of becoming a muslim being born and living in the US is about as great as becoming a Christian being born and living in Afgan....
There's nothing magical about it. These people follow the same religion their parents did, and their children follow it because they did, and their children's children..... so on and so forth. It's a wonderful mechanism for member retention. But it's not miraculous. You tell people they will burn in a hell for all of eternity if they leave, after telling them all about that from the time were born each and every week, and hell, you could make people shop at Fry's electronics even when TV's were half price across the street. I mean, with a switching cost like that, it's no miracle that people don't stray, lol. Imagine if you'd burn in hell if you switched cell phone providers?
Anyway....
I tried to figure out how to make this crap plausible. I thought long and hard about it. Hell, I even prayed about it, and I'm not one for praying, not because I don't think prayer could possibly be real.... but because if it is.... then I don't see where it's very RESPECTFUL to pray for every little thing that comes along. In fact, I find that very DISRESPECTFUL, even though at this point in my life have to doubt if there's anyone listening anyway.
But point is, I was bound up with it enough to pray not that I be given the answer, as I thought even that would be disrespectful, but just that before I die, I be allowed clarity on the subject. I told God that my mind would never be capable of accepting something that made no sense. I said I imagine that your word has been hopelessly corrupted by man, and that must be the reason it no longer holds validity. Man screwed up the details by interpretation, purposeful manipulation and if for no other reason, than in the simple passing down of the message through so much time. That alone will absolutely destroy a message. I sent these issues out to him in great detail, was 100% honest and as I said, simply asked that if it fit in to his divine plan... and wouldn't mess it up in any way, that he allow me to understand this before my time was up, as I wanted nothing more than to be able to say "I believe" but with what we have to work with on this earth, I can't honestly say that, and I'm not going to lie.
It's just a fact of life that no matter how much effort and energy you put into proving something, if it's not
actually true, you can NEVER prove it, nor reconcile it with reality.
And therein lies the reason I cannot ever truly believe in the stories you think I should, and that I wish I could...
And therein also lies the point the OP has been making. If you want to have someone
truly believe in those stories, then you had better shield them from knowledge beyond a certain point, else you will DESTROY their ability to do so. PERMANENTLY.
This is all covered in the story of Adam and Eve no less. Why were they cast out of the garden of Eden in the first place? Because they took from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. The tree of KNOWLEDGE. The devil was hiding up inside the tree of KNOWLEDGE.
The bible made it very clear from the beginning that knowledge is the Devil. And for DAMN good reason as I think I've made abundantly clear. The men who wrote it knew that anyone who gained too much knowledge would be unable to accept the story, and unable to blissfully believe as seems to be very easy for so many.
It's a raw deal, but unfortunately, I'm afraid I took from that tree myself. And in so doing, there's no way for me to enter a place like that in earnest.